There are four things I want more than anything

1 I want a marriage full of love, christ-centered, and adventure oriented.
2 I want kids who feel loved.
3 I want a job that has purpose
4 I want my past to be redeemed in my future.


On that list there is not one sinful thing.... but I think before any of those things become reality in my life I have to realize that God is enough. All of those things will be great but in the words of Matt Chandler all of those things are shadows to point me to God. When my sole goal is to push and pursue these things in my own strength and control it will fall apart. Also I can not do anything on that list in my own power. I can get married, have kids, find a job, and even use my past experience as guide to better the world but without God all of these will be tiring, joyless, and fall apart.

Here is the other side to that though, I can not just sit back in my life and wait for these things to happen either. I can't just pray hard enough and these things will fall into my lap. My job is to press hard into God and be faithful. I will be called to do things that in my mind seem like I am running in the opposite direction but in the wisdom of God he is pulling me closer to him.


The thought of this is humbling and scary. I can be neither in control or lazy. I have to labor but not in vain... it will be beautiful. It will be deep. I can't wait. and I don't have to because it is time for me to be faithful now.


I think that I will be learning this lesson for a long time. I am praying that it will be a sweet journey and that it results in a deeper love for God.