Dreams

"Go after the biggest dream in your heart"


what is the biggest dream of my heart?

if I answered that honestly it would have nothing to do with my future, my career, my aspiration, or anything expected like that. the biggest dream of my heart isn't something I can chase after. the biggest dream of my heart is something I have to release because it is only then I may receive it... and even then it isn't guaranteed. The biggest dream of my heart is to feel unconditionally loved and accepted by mom. My dream is to be filled by her love and for my love back to be enough. BUT that won't happen because what I want is for her to meet my needs and even if she was the best mom she couldn't do that... she isn't suppose to. God is suppose to but is it so wrong for me to want her to do it instead?

I feel like this chase for my mom's love is like running on a track, I can only run so far away from her until I seem like I am running right back to her.