It was tough time in my life. My whole world had crashed down, everything I was sure of had slipped away. I hated God and didn't want anything to do with him. I was sure that he was the source of my pain. In my mind He did not merit my love and was surely not getting my trust. I started to attend church for the first time in 2 years not because I wanted to but rather because I was literally dragged into the car and to the church. My mom fought for my faith during my childhood and she was the only reason I was there. I began attending church inconsistently around the same time the church hired a new assistant youth minister. I was drawn to his wife immediately. She was the first person that seem to see my pain and stopped to help. It is funny to think back on now because she was the age I am now when we first met. She would brush my hair, clean up my cuts, take me to dinner, let me call her several days of the week, and even help me with my math home work over the phone. I remember being so concerned. At church every week I just wanted to be next to her at all times but would try to distance myself sometimes in an effort to not be overbearing or annoying. A little shy a year after they had come to my church they announced they were going to move away. I sat in the room hugging my brother and sobbing at the news of their move. After a while I ran to the bathroom at the church and continued to cry. Steph found me there and cried with me. She promised that she would stay in touch and that I could come and visit her during school breaks. I was hopeful that we would stay in contact but secretly I thought that she would disappointment me like so many others had. I called Steph at her new house about 3 weeks after she had move. They weren't home and the answering machince picked up. I said "I don't know if you remember me but this robyn. Call me back sometime." My brother made fun of my message saying they just moved away three weeks ago but I was just that sure she wouldn't remember. Stephanie held true on her promise. We talked at least 3 times a month and we visited for a couple weeks in the summer the following year. I also stayed at her house several weekends over the years. Steph always listened and gave me advice. Anytime there was a major event in my life I knew that I could call her and she would be there. There was even one point in my high school years that I wrote her an email about doubting my salvation. She called me and told me that she knew that I was saved, she listened to my fears and concerns, and then she told me that she was going to drop her plans for the weekend so that she could pick me and I could spend the weekend at her house. That weekend was a real turning point in my relationship with Christ.
Steph encouraged me to fill out my college application, sign up for the SAT, and fill out FASFA in order to go to college on time. During my college years we grew even closer. My freshman year college she helped me figure out what to major in. She also help me realize how much hurt and pain I was carrying. She helped me realize my emotions and patiently listen to me vocalize my pains and fears. She taught me how to trust people again which ultimately strengthen my faith in God and my resolve for his plan in my life. Stephanie was the first person I told that I felt like God was calling me to missions and she has encouraged me since the day I told her. Danny and Stephanie let me live with their family for a year. During my time of living with them they have taught me what a well balanced meal is (which may not seem like a big deal but trust me it is) They also taught me what a loving God-centered family is. They taught what it looks like for a husband to love his wife, a wife to love her husband, parents to love their children. They taught me that it is worth following God regardless of what you are giving up in the process. They taught me to follow God's plan is more important than stability, money, comfort, safety,and so much more.
So why do I care about people? Why do I want to do missions? Because a 23 year old woman took the time and energy to invest in a awkward middle school and it has made every difference in the world to me in my life.
No comments:
Post a Comment